Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Saga of the Pet Rock

So what's up with you? Anybody remember the Pet Rock craze way back?  Yeah, I remember it well - made some bucks for someone's great perception of people's emotions. There was a "special" rock dressed up as a baby or another character in a fancy box. My favorite was the macho  man with some chest hair creativily peeking out. Well there was a claim of rock power like crystals but nothing good happenend to me. I was ahead $20 BEFORE I bought the damn thing. OK, since I owned a piece of the country, I figured that it should be a  once-in-a-lifetime chance to have a perfect pet of my very own. My "guy" never needs to be fed or walked, is completely toilet-trained. He is the ideal pet boyfriend/husband/partner. He always listen to you and never talks back - in fact he never says anything at all. I just had to give him a proper name. How about  " Rocky Roady" or "Sporty Rocky" (worn out by Monday  morning) or best "Rocky- the- Great"? In any case, he's still sitting on his red cushion under some junk in my drawer.
      On politically incorrect (and sensitive) words - *Where is it written that everyone on this earth must do things exactly like you do?  * Who the hell told you that you're always right?  No one....Nowhere - that's who.
      So how is your diet-thing going these days OK?  Making the moves? good for you. I'm proud of you. I'll be checking on you again so don't give up.
       A little thing I've always wondered about living in Japan: Wearing an expensive kimono and western style underpants, trying to use a Japanese type toilet - just as bad as using any toilet wearing a one-piece ski suit.
                                See you again..... Mountain Mama encased in a rubber diving suit.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Even Turkeys' Exercise - Turkey!

Well here it is - post turkey day. How did you do?  Went gung-ho for the fatty stuff or was cool with boring but know-what-you-should-eat-stuff? Awe- some! You know "you da boss" in this matters.
Now - about enemies of the earth:  Why can't we round up all the environmental rapists - YOU KNOW WHO WHO YOU ARE - and put them on a desert island. NO trees, NO water, No shelter, animals, birds, or insects. Let them live in this type of enviroment they are inflicting on the rest of the human race. No global whinning just do your part. 
On exercising: Daily or close, it must be. I don't know about you guys but I hate to sweat. So don't go to the gym where everyone looks exhausted - and wet. All you have to do is WALK. There is alot written about walking I know but aside from the occasional lifting of those bottles filled with water to balance and tone your arms - who wants bat wings anyway? You put one foot ahead of each other and propel yourself foward - using a little more speed than when you mosey along checking out the bakery goods. Oh - one rule! You must NEVER carry any machines with you - the cell, ipod, and zillions of variation  to get distracted. Remember stopping to smell the flowers, noticing new details of buildings, looking at natural things carefully.... really carefully? For me - it was when I was a kid. Beside losing weight slowly and steadily, you will get toned up - even look slimmer sooner. My motto is - never kill yourself just a steady pace is enough. Soon you will naturally want to walk more, faster and basically all over the place. Maybe a stab at a bicycle ride will up the ante. So quit futzing around and get out there.
How about a few more ads and slogans:  "You don't need teeth to eat our beef"(how about gums?)   HI! I'm not here,  Go Big or Go Home  - Why don't you just the hell go home folks! Bye for now....   Mountain Mama Japan

Monday, November 21, 2011

Foodie- toody Special

Well here we are again!  Talking about the three meals/two to three snacks only, allowed daily -  it can get very intense to exactly WHAT you should eat.  You know what "healthy" basically means even if you do live under a rock as they say. Look guys, with all of those itty-bitty, teeny-weeny servings, postage stamp sized plates and pipsqueak utensils - ya can't go wrong. The food must be colorful - think international - everyone looks different but coordinate beautifully. Yes, veggys are a must, yellow squashy stuff and red beets (not my favorite - too much like consuming blood products) and of course the greens. Gorge on this but don't drown it in dressing. The protein part is a few slivers of any meat - not a whole side like they now serve in restaurants. Carbs are there for balance - if you need fries - like a hole in the head - you'll find out how they bypass your stomach and land directly on your saddle-bag thights only to add extra sexy roundness there and on your butt. So...folks you can only have a few - wouldn't you prefer a nice small baked potato with loads of fiber? This conversation will always be continued....
A word about going on a date - singles or partnered people (are there any other groupings? tell me about it)  
* Preparing for your special evening - don't cut your hair without a mirror
*Appearance requirements - No suspenders - how do those things work anyway? will your pants really fall down without them?
* No bowtie/goofy string ties - looks like wings of a bird ready for flight. - please give me a break!
*No soccer - mom jeans - an elastic waistband pulled up to your neck just isn't cool.
*Hide the guy boobs - Please either cover them up with a huge aloha shirt or go for it with a guy bra. (guy bra?)
* No 1980's, 1990's style anything. Not yet vintage cool - it just makes you look like a fossil.
More about dating later. Now a few more awsome- wanna-bees on the tee shirt wearing contest:   In Yo Face  (short and to the point I'd say), He Loves ME  Got it?, and last:  I LOVE MY 'TUDE    Right.....    Bye for now, Mountain Mama Japan signing off

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Natto Chronicles

Hi! A few more points about dieting: You MUST eat three meals a day - yes, count it - one, two, three main times you eat. No excuses please. Then to make it more fun you may have two to three SMALL - and I mean SMALL snacks in between. Everything must be spaced every few hours. No more one constant meal all day. This way you know when you can eat and when you don't. Trust me, you won't ever get so hungry that you'll eat your handbag! You will think about these meals of about 500 calories, but not obsess  like a crazy person. The snacks should be maybe 100 calories or a little more. This is not a diet as we know it - this is a LIFESTYLE which will take time to adjust to. No more nagging or pushing yourself about food. Leave yourself alone! Isn't life tough enough anyway? Another time I'll talk more about what these meals/snacks should consist of.

On Idioms:  

The Natto Chronicles
     You guys from outside of Japan may not know what this is - let me describe it to you: slimy, gray/brown beany things proudly presented to the hapless public in nifty chemical laden material packs. It's has an odor of  a dead animal but strangely, I developed a full blown addiction to it. It's embarassing to admit this here but stuff happens to Mountain Mama too. I had to KICK THE HABIT (akushii o tatsu) because basically it was giving me a bellyache - those beans kind of explode in your gut as well. People  think of it as a healthy source of - whatever - but since I KICKED THE HABIT I sometimes get lonely for that action below. Now I'm looking for a new love/hate relationship with another food.

Some more little tidbits seen on teeshirts:  A FACE ONLY A MOTHER COULD LOVE,  KEEP STARING JERK, REAL MEN WEAR KIMONO. Wanna hear another one?  OK here goes - REAL MEN WEAR MAKE UP.           See you next time,  Mountain Mama Japan

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Tiny Dieting

Hey - nice day right? As Janice Joplin once said: "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." As a whole, I'd still choose freedom and worry about "lose" part later.
Oka-a-y diet advice time: Well, folks, think JAPAN - yep, that's right JAPAN. Land of the TINY - tiny dishes, tiny bowls, dining tables and portion.Eat anything your heart desires but get use to the down-sizing forever. No trips back to the kitchen for more - you'll pay attention to the taste 'cause there ain't alot of it. How about writing down everything you eat in a day? I mean EVERYTHING - even a lick of the icing of a cake. Look, it's only for three or four days. So, it's a pain in the tushie but you can analyze what you shovel into your mouth. This is the only time you need to count calories. Once you see a pattern emerge, you can cut down the portions and still reach the 1500 to about 2000 calories you need in a day to survive. As time goes on you will get the feeling based on its weight and appearance that it's right. Natually you will find foods that are healthier on your own because you have that valuable three day data.
Some thoughts -*  Prepare the child for the road - not the road for the child.
   *  I'd rather be called a SLUT than an OLD MAID any day.
   *  She laughs too loud and she talks too much - but she has FUN. Gee, that
     sounds like me!   See you guys next time, Mountain Mama Japan

Monday, November 14, 2011

Take the plunge and make a splash!

Hi again.   You know how to get over the negative stuff in life that hits you broadside? Well I'll tell you what NOT to say: " I can't, I don't,  no one will want me, I'm not young,thin. rich, _ _ _ _ _ (you fill in this blank), I can't go on a date at my age, people will think I'm silly". In actuality you don't have anything to lose to try something new or different. grown children, elderly parents, people you work with, friends and the slew of people in your life who don't want their relationships and situations changing with you - may have the strongest opinions. Don't ask/don't tell may work best here. Supportive people are always welcome. So-o-o  get out there and fight, fight fight!

I dare you to plaster these words across your chest:
"Perfection is the highest order of self-abuse"
Other (useless) pearls of wisdom:
"My only interest in money is when I have none"
Truth is the one story you never have to think about"

Other things to mull over:
It's long known that family vacations are only slightly less stressful than being held hostage by terrorists.
Mango Manners:  Cynics say that the right way to eat a mango is standing in a bathtub while wearing a raincoat or better - leaning over the sink naked. Your choice people.
Next time say tuned for some secret diet advice straight from the horse's mouth. Also English idioms that can serve you well in all situations - ones that you can use a thousand times a day - until people tell you to shut up. 
See you again!   Mountain Mama JAPAN

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Welcome everyone!

     Hi, I'm Teri, a New Yorker, long time resident of Japan - went to school here and haven't left. I have a 15 year old  business of vintage clothes and accessories in a resort lake area of Mt. Fuji near Tokyo. This is a brand new blog about things that are important to us, thoughts that we might or might not wish to share with others. It has the tools to motivate ourselves to make positive changes in relationships and do things we always hoped for in this stressful, changing world.
     Topics include:
* Looking great and younger - advice/hints/tips/stories
*What's new in vintage and re-made clothes and accessories, slim fashion looks.
*Diet and shape-up features in EASY ENGLISH for our Japanese friends, with learning fun English idioms and useful phrases.
     So-o-o  sit back and relax, grab a cup of coffee and step into the world of Mountain Mama Japan Blog.         See you soon new friends!