Welcome Home Dirt Bag

Hi Everybody! Thanks a bunch for welcoming me back so soon! Couldn't wait to sit down and start pounding the keyboard again! I got this idea (like I'm borrowing it from somewhere I saw it millions of years ago). It's for people who live alone - now a trendy choice in society. This is how not to get to the point of climbing the walls out of loneliness: A recorded voice greeting you at the door when you return home after a hard day of work (including getting screamed at by your boss and dropping a carton of eggs at the supermarket), It's the fuzzy-wuzzy soothing,calming (gender of your choice) voice that says: "Welcome home honey! Darling!,Hey tough guy! or any other X-rated label that will puff you up and get you out of your sourpuss mode. Isn't that better than hearing: What the hell are you doing home so early? Or: I'm hungry,what's for dinner? I'd rather hear "How was your day sweetheart? or "I've missed you sweet pea. How about a neck massage?" With Mountain Mama's vast knowledge/opinion about everything in life, I'd rather be single, climbing the walls and hearing that soothing voice when I get in the door at night. So, what else is new with you? Nothing? So don't bore me to death - only I can do that. How about some more tee-shirt slogans - "Hi I'm Not Here!",  "Blond In Heat",  "Will F___k for Food" uh, did I just write that?  One more stupid one: " The Greatest Beauty Secret is to Wear a Paper Bag Over Your Head" God that's dumb. Just don't forget to cut out holes for your eyes genius. One last one to keep you happy? Okay, here goes: "Tattoos and Piercing While You Wait" Now did you guys had enough already? I'm done. Signing off - over and out....                Mountain Mama Japan  .