Saturday, January 14, 2012

Recipe From Hell

Yep, it's one of these days again - not the weather or feeling "under the weather" but a real blah day. Absolutely nothing but nothing happening. I'm here to change things - right? So lemme at 'em! O-ka-a-y, here we go.... Some  tips for your daily existence: Never take a tranquilizer  (or any pill for that matter) without water. Ugh,  tweeze your eyebrows without a mirror (what eyebrows?),  ride a roller coaster after auntie's famous double cheese fried steak dish - trust me on this one, been there, done that. Run through the door first and have it slam on your date's face - Only done in one country in the world - Japan! Yes, land of gentlemen and flatened gentlewomen.  Ready for another one? Yeah? Never thought you'd ask:   Like tattoo's? Meeting a guy with some could be a real great conversation starter: "Hey love the tat's! Like what were you in for? Oh, an axe murderer? How charming. Can't wait to be alone with you dear."   Now, for the serious stuff:  How about a recipe for a change? It's called:  Mountain Mama's Winter Pudding. Aren't you all excited? It takes 2 eggs - don't get smart - how would I know if it's free range or not? Next is 2 cups of bread pieces, yeah, stale or rock hard OK, just cut off the green/black part. 3 cups (hot) milk - again don't bother me  you-skinny-as-a-rail- folks, about skim, low fat or God forbid regular. Any kind will do.  Sugar is 1/2 cup - aha! I will not go there about the million reasons that you shouldn't, can't, don't with the sugar issue. Leave me alone OK? Just do what you gotta do and get some in there. Whew! I'm exausted and I haven't even finished listing the few cheap ( you know cheapskates love me!) ingredients into the freaken bowl. Now, there is also 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla (real or chemical- ladden fake) Stop it! and last, raisins/dried fruit (NOT rotten, hard stuff but sold by the pack as dried.)  Let's start already before I need those tranks without water: Beat the eggs, add the bread, hot milk, 1 tablespoon butter  OH NO! I forgot about the butter - sorry, but I get hysterical when I hear anything FAT, 'cause it's FAT that's why. Here's the thing, I also forgot (on purpose) the pinch of salt. Any of you guys with high BP sorry but it won't have any taste without some - just bear with it and up your meds for a day. So, where was I? Oh yeah,  Mix it up and dump it in a greased (grease is another dirty word in my skinny world) pan.You're on your own with this one. Bake for 40 minutes at 350c. How did it come out? Soupy? Crunchy? Did you turn on the oven? What were you doing for forty minutes? Oh I'm not allowed to ask? Alright, be a weasel. I'm leaving. Hope that you enjoyed your feast. Lick the spoon for me.  See you next,                        Mountain Mama Japan