DEEP FRIED CHUBBY PEOPLE

 Hey! Ready for a brand new post from Mountain Mama? No? Well you're getting it anyway 'cause I seem to be in the mood or something - the weather sucks - a typhoon on top of the rainy season. Ugh.  Okay, here's what's happening at those USA redneck state fairs they torture people with every year. The idea sounds good though bringing people together looking at livestock and eating until they bust. The problem I have with this is - what the hell are those people frying up all this time? Not to be believed by folks living out of the states -  Look, as I just said EVERYTHING but EVERYTHING is fried at one of these fairs. Let's start with FRIED caviar - Maybe it's their only stab at looking like rich people.And how about the fried spinach dish? Gotta do the healthy thing right? Next on the cholesterol parade of who's gonna get the next coronary.... Drum roll please! No it's not fried ice cream - but FRIED BEER! Yeah! Hot on the outside and cold on the inside. Can't wait to suck that up in the hot Texas sun. Is all this normal? I guess so - people need these foods - they didn't get so chubby by eating boring bland stuff every day like me.   * Now, one or two more points before I sign off:  Tell the kids to cover their eyes/ears for this one: A tee shirt slogan I really saw in Tokyo and had to write down - it was displayed on an innocent 12 year old's front: "I'm Here for the Blowjob"  Good God. On the back of this someone's sweet daughter tee read: "Fuck You, You Fucking Fuck". WOW, where can I order a fried iced coffee around here? 'Gotta cool down.   See you guys next time.... Everybody stay home where it's safe.      Mountain Mama Japan

ENTOURAGE OF FOOLS

Hey! So here we are again.... and again! So what's up with you guys? Okay, don't get huffy-puffy, just checking it out.I've been thinking about these two powerful words (that's all I can cram into my head at one time. Forgive me,I'm no multi-tasker!) And they are: "enabling" and "accountability". I think that it's about choices people make and others around them who let,encourage,or aid them to continue these actions, whether they be good or damaging. If people are in fact ill or disabled they must be helped by taxpayers to remain contributing, dignitified members of society. No one can argue about that - however, the problem I do have has to do with funding people who are NOT accountable for themselves. These people manage to do this by grossly overeating and getting to the point where they are unable to move - let alone work - as seen on some US reality shows who love to shock and awe.  They hog the already over burdened government assistanced  programs to supply electric wheelchair among other expensive services to them. I've seen people surrounded with their little enablers be it friends or family, fluttering around  doing what they should be doing for themselves. What the public should "enable" them with are not automatically giving services, but FORCED EDUCATION - the why's, how's, where's and when,s this happened in the first place before things get 'atta wack and they wind up with huge health problems if not already. Yes "tough love" is alive and well according to Mountain Mama! This educational approach should include getting to the root of emotional issues for choosing such lifestyles as well as the usual(and boring) diet and exercise.  Enough of this already?  Okay, got it. I'm getting depressed too. Now some fun stuff: "Money makes you poor" You're kidding right?  "Revenge feels good only for a moment" Yep, I know about that too. And last: "Change is the right combination of discomfort and hope". Now, you guys "hope" that I'm out of here and so do I!  Bye-bye see you....                       Mountain Mama Japan

COFFEE BEANS FROM HELL

Hi again to all of the hardy survivors of Mountain Mama Japan! Got some stuff to share with you guys: It's those sassy coffee shops that seem to serve everything but everything but - hello out there!  COFFEE! Plain coffee. That's all I want in a "coffee shop". It has become harder to order since coffee doesn't seem to be just coffee anymore. It's all this other fattening fancy-schmancy stuff dumped in it.I don't want a big tuchis like you so there! I asked them: "So where's the coffee?" Like in the old CM where the granny asked "Where's the beef?"  I got a "fuhgeddaboutit!" and/or "kiss my ax" look from the server with the big butt. C'mon! Book you too.  Now, how about a few in yo' face  edgy messages to make your day? Okay here goes: "Walk in the direction that you want to go no matter what happens" While you're deeply digesting the spirituality of this "message from beyond" Don't walk off of a cliff moron. I'll leave you with one last one that strikes a personal chord with me:  "Anything closer to FREE rhymes with ME! Yup! I'm in charge....  See you next time folks - don't do anything crazy.
                                  Mountain Mama Japan

Welcome Home Dirt Bag

Hi Everybody! Thanks a bunch for welcoming me back so soon! Couldn't wait to sit down and start pounding the keyboard again! I got this idea (like I'm borrowing it from somewhere I saw it millions of years ago). It's for people who live alone - now a trendy choice in society. This is how not to get to the point of climbing the walls out of loneliness: A recorded voice greeting you at the door when you return home after a hard day of work (including getting screamed at by your boss and dropping a carton of eggs at the supermarket), It's the fuzzy-wuzzy soothing,calming (gender of your choice) voice that says: "Welcome home honey! Darling!,Hey tough guy! or any other X-rated label that will puff you up and get you out of your sourpuss mode. Isn't that better than hearing: What the hell are you doing home so early? Or: I'm hungry,what's for dinner? I'd rather hear "How was your day sweetheart? or "I've missed you sweet pea. How about a neck massage?" With Mountain Mama's vast knowledge/opinion about everything in life, I'd rather be single, climbing the walls and hearing that soothing voice when I get in the door at night. So, what else is new with you? Nothing? So don't bore me to death - only I can do that. How about some more tee-shirt slogans - "Hi I'm Not Here!",  "Blond In Heat",  "Will F___k for Food" uh, did I just write that?  One more stupid one: " The Greatest Beauty Secret is to Wear a Paper Bag Over Your Head" God that's dumb. Just don't forget to cut out holes for your eyes genius. One last one to keep you happy? Okay, here goes: "Tattoos and Piercing While You Wait" Now did you guys had enough already? I'm done. Signing off - over and out....                Mountain Mama Japan  .

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Ban World Food Mauling!

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Ban World Food Mauling!: Hi people!  Great start to the new year - rapidly getting a little frayed around the corners since we're moving into the second month. What'...

Ban World Food Mauling!

Hi people!  Great start to the new year - rapidly getting a little frayed around the corners since we're moving into the second month. What's this about a "fresh start" crap? Still got millions of stuff to do - no different than before. Whoops! forgot to be positive - okay, I can ignore everything - like get lazy/hazy and do what sounds good for me. Well, I have a real issue that you should know about: It's how food is touched to death by chefs/cooks around the world. Why would kitchen professionals arrange/adjust/move/alter/modify/finger. and literally kill the original shape/size/color/texture of food? The worst offenders have to be Japanese chefs - "In the name of art" they proclaim. Well folks, I have a thing or two to say to these guys - STOP mauling it now! So says Mountain Mama, the country bumpkin from the boonies. You're here to take my advice, right? Well - just gather it/wash it/ dump it in an all purpose pot and cook the thing(s) until it stops moving and you will have the meal that any top chef from any country will be so-o envious of! Might even win one of those fancy awards from France! Had enough already? No? Okay one more: You heard me say "GO BIG OR GO HOME"? Now I'm saying: "BE NICE OR GO HOME".  That means me - so bye now....
                                            Mountain Mama Japan   on my way out for sushi