Mental Block Clinic During the Holidays

Hel-lo!   Just gotta discuss a crucial issue affecting the entire population of Japan - No it's not what you think - look, I'll give you a hint:  worn when it's cold or when the cedars go beserk. Yeah? you know? It's also my main pet peeve.  It's those stupid surgical masks. They might serve their purpose during a world epidemic of a super-duper buggy things but - please folks don't use them when you don't put your make-up on. It's like when you have a bad hair day - on goes the hat. Another time people wear these things is if they are hiding from the world. Or they are in their OWN world. Some of these recluses need a little unconditional loving to get them to strip and show their naked souls (whoops! I mean face).  This leads me to another subject of why you're not good at relationships. Get close to someone and the next thing you know, you've given them the power to wound, betray, irritate, abandon  or bore you senseless. My general policy is to keep my distance, thus avoiding a lot of unruly emotion - in psychiatic circles, there are names for people like this:  ALONE and LONELY.
So what else do you want to hear about?  As the holiday season gets closer, how about a stressful family party thought?  As it turns out both sides of the our family wanted to have their Christmas parties on the same day and all I want to do is to sit at home drooling on anti-psychotic medication and planning their demises. I get so stressed-out at this time of the year that by New Years there is no need for confetti 'cause I can explode at will all over the area of your choice.  Fuhgeddaboutit! as they say in New York. So guys.... forget about it.  Have your own party in your own home this year. No need to go gallivanting around the globe. So, with that said, have a good one  and don't be a jerk, boozer, tacky or a turd. Just be you.  See you next year.
                                     Mountain Mama Japan

Plain Jane Discovering Her New 'tude

Hi again!  Welcome back for some more earth shattering revelations! Well it's suppose to be about our girl Plain Jane. So it is:  She was a student in a New York college at this time. Not being from an entitled family,  like most of the snots were from- daddies in trendy suits marching  or in this case, driving what most of keeping up with the Jones possessed: big, bad, foreign, richy looking cars. Jane, not born with A SILVER SPOON IN HER MOUTH (yofuku na ie ni umareru) can't forget those idioms folks - had to work it out on her own. Yeah, do stuff herself if she ever wanted to see any changes. Now,  isn't that a real Plain Jane for 'ya? Couldn't get closer than that.  I didn't tell you what she looked like, did I?  Pretty hot material I'd say. Kind of hidden beneath all the insecurities. See, she felt ordinary and boring. Never stood out in high school. I know our girl had like "assets" stuff you can see and other stuff you couldn't cause it was buried between her two ears. She wanted to break the mold somehow and get away from other girls from the city with short, brown mousey hair and big butts. Why the hell do these people all look alike? Jane was thinking at this time to change her name too- how daring can you get?  Wow- starting off with a new look, new name in a new place. Not thinking of family or college (oh, they'll survive and the college thing, up until age ninety is no problem) - well that's youth for you! You wonder what the connection to Japan is?- it's those pretty stick and  curley designed writing they call kanji in Japan and we know as Japanese characters.  It looked so awesome and  difficult to Jane at the same time.  She couldn't image these things were actually historical modes of communication. All she knew about this postage-sized country was that its' people were deranged worker ants toiling away for the good of mankind. Little did they know what would be happening in the upcoming years to change that. What! I'm not trying to scare the bejesus out of you - It's the truth.        Now for some more useless whatever....  Hey, get your mangy paws off of me - this is suppose to be fun, like get you sourpusses to crack a smile OK, got it?  Here goes-  If a woman's place is in the home, why am I always in the car?  There are old pilots and there are bold pilots - but no OLD, BOLD pilots....       BACK OFF  I'm with the band,  (I don't exactly get this one), and last:  God doesn't have grandchildren, just children. (This I get.)
                                               Signing off for now,  Rodger, over and  out,
                                                   Mountain Mama                               

Before Holiday Diet Boot Camp

Hi Everyone!   Look, let's start off with a bang before the holidays - Don't muffin top me! You need to get in some sort of control BEFORE the damage is done by Jewish/Italian or other great cooks/well-meaning mommies in the world. No one can get pushed more than those in New York according to me. They are the world's top guilt machines, built like bulldozers and firing off  "How thin you look dears'" by the armload. These ladies are more dangerous that any front- line combat zone. On the other hand, people who enjoy  treats daily are slimmer than the one measly weekly splurge. Yes,it works because you never feel deprived with having a square or two of chocolate or  another sweet buzz like a few cookies? do it. The message here is portion control - and like I wrote before - just a few bites , maybe break up the cookie - suddenly you have eight cookies from the two! Hee-Hee. Now we are getting into mind control. Oh my God.  Where is it written in stone that you have to eat a ten-year-old fruitcake? I get approached every year so I know.  I'm alive every year 'cause I don't. OK? enough about not developing a huge heinie/tuchis/can/butt - which ever term you can understand.
A question about relationships -   Would you rather be in a shorter, let's say a five to ten year happy, joyful one or a longer, twenty-five or thirty year miserable one? Be nicer to you. Give yourself a pat on your back while you're at it.  No one will love you more than yourself.   How about a few slogans that you can't live without? " Money can't buy happiness - that's what shopping is for!"   Old Buddist proverb: Don't eat your soul to fill your belly. "Anything cheaper would be illegal" a bargain store sign. In India there is a "Black Eye Detective Agency" doing a booming business I hear.   The Diary of Plain Jane will continue when I continue it.   Bye-bye folks             Mountain Mama Japan

Secret Diary of a Plain Jane Part 2 Sort of the beginning

Hi!     Thanks for stopping by again.  Well, maybe I should start from the beginning - no, not the very beginning 'cause that would bore me to death. If I ever chose to read (or plotz as New Yorkers say), through my diary,  maybe on my deathbed or something, with all of my great-grand children circling around waiting to move in for the kill, with the little brats thinking that this lonely blog was somehow connected with my last will and testament, making them instant baby millionaires - they are dead wrong! Actually all I did was write stuff down when I felt like writing stuff down. You can say it was for the main three people in my life: No, not daddy, mommy and you-name-it extra person - but it's simple:  ME, MYSELF, and I.  Couldn't do better than that. Sounds selfish but so I am. I'm going to warn you I might be jumping around - it's hell trying to put together sentences from torn off notebook pages and squares of toilet paper.   Well, as far as I could tell the diary starts in a post (very post) occupation, pre (very pre) bubble Japan. It's an account of a twenty-something, x- know-it-all back home in the states,  and  a new, doesn't know anything about anything  girl in this dot-on-the-map, middle of nowhere postage-sized country. I just couldn't resist the challenge of totally turning my entire life around and taking off with one suitcase. I had a little intention I guess to study the writing, the roots of which are from China - Now they tell me! Wonder why I didn't just head for China instead of Japan. Maybe Japan was closer or  something. To be continued when I'm good and ready folks. How about mulling over some instructions on a bunch of bananas "Peel the banana before taking a bite "Oh my  God and I thought that Japanese people ranked way up in the world.  Another masterpiece is:  AUTHORITY  SUCKS"  Tell that to the SOB who pulled you over. You have your rights! You are a graduate of Woodstock '69 - no problem.      Bye for now,     Mountain Mama Japan

Secret Diary of a Plain Jane Part 1

Hi folks - how was your week? Good I hope like mine - As it's said:  Even if you're rich, beautiful and smart, you still only get twenty-four hours in a day. So do what you can with what you've got.
I don't know how or where to start writing something like this since I never have before. It is  THE  SECRET DIARY OF A PLAIN JANE   Part 1 - I guess that I could say that this is just for my eyes only - like a private confession or something, but you guys are dying to know what really happened. Right? I did make a New Year's resolution to tell it all - even if it's corny or embarrassing, whatever. I thought maybe I'll become a famous writer! I would show those jerks in the office who's boss around there. Ha!  I really did start keeping a diary. Truth or dare! let it all hang out. Yeah, about everything and anything. I never thought that it would be a picnic - but nothing can stop me now. As I look back on what I wrote were bits and pieces of the daily bitch syndrome - but I did say that it was for my eyes only - didn't I?  Stay tuned for Part 2 next time - It takes forever to get to the juicy part but hang in there and you'll see Ms. Plain Jane in action.
Now, some more one liners you see (or don't want to see) on a dude strutting - or stumbling down the street.  YOU'RE IN DEEP YOU-KNOW-WHAT,   Sheesh! Next sounds more brillant:   FASTER, CHEAPER, BETTER - and it ain't a car,   One last dopey one:  GIRLS RULE .... BOYS DROOL (The first part sounded good, but the last part killed the mood).  Whew! I guess that's enough torture for one day - so I'll see you again - I think that you'll be here.
                                                                         Mountain Mama Japan