Mountain Mama JAPAN: Aging Whiners

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Aging Whiners: Hi everyone on this (almost) last day of 2012. I have one more gripe that a gotta stick in - What does "aging gracefully" mean?  Like are th...

Aging Whiners

Hi everyone on this (almost) last day of 2012. I have one more gripe that I gotta stick in - What does "aging gracefully" mean?  Like are there any set rules that society demands? According to Mountain Mama (who claims to be a thousand years old), there are people who are born with old souls and others (me for example!) Ha! born with young souls. No matter what the number is you're always young - may look young, act young or think young, and that there is a vast future with many possibilities to experience yet. Now, for this graceful stuff - does that mean "naturally" let things go like the hair, bod, energy levels? You fill in the rest of the aging stuff - too much for me to do here. Well, you woman blessed with a secure relationship, finances, and support system can comfortably  pack on a "few" pounds, let the gray roots be seen by the masses - what the hell!  Take your "graceful" someplace else. You guys can fade away! - gives the other half less competition. I'm personally for doing what I can without going under the knife. Keep it all together for as long as I can. It's empowering. If I can control at least some of the processes - then I will make the choice to do it. I don't have much sympathy for the whiny guys who didn't take care of themselves, abused their bods and developed chronic stuff in later life. So with my anti-aging campaign in mind, have fun in the new year - just watch the boozy, druggy, and ciggies. Yeah?  See you next.... Hey you! respect your elders.
                                                    Mountain Mama Japan

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Deranged Pack of Squirrels

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Deranged Pack of Squirrels: Hey there! It's been a while again but been deeply thinking about the next hot topic - which is our old friend when we are down and out, mos...

Deranged Pack of Squirrels

Hey there! It's been a while again but been deeply thinking about the next hot topic - which is our old friend when we are down and out, mostly when we move - NO it's not money - it's that rental locker/ someones' attic/ storage unit/ cartons etc. Well, the only think that I can think of folks is - DON"T DO IT. Throw the stuff away, sell it or give it to charity. There I said it! Look, in reality, if you really don't use it now or very soon - trust me on this, YOU NEVER WILL. Toys the kids don't play with anymore, Christmas presents from Auntie someone (guilty!) or houshold stuff that's seen a better day - you know "Out of sight out of mind" saying. Well, it can cause major stress (don't I know!)  if you have to wade through the carnage daily. It's a hell of alot easier to get rid of the problem by dumping it in a storage space. Then the hard part is keeping up with the monthly payment. What about if it's in your cellar and it gets wet? Hello mildew and mold. Totally unusable. Fire, theft (honored if they love my stuff), mice or cockroaches - yum-yum! Did you ever try to wear an article of clothing after it got wet, stinks, with moth holes gracing the front? May I add the arrangement of the holes is look better than some modern art in a fancy overpriced gallery. Okay, take this quick test - tell me you couldn't stop at ONE storage area - like you get addicted and need more and more space as you collect things in life. You know - you can't stop at one tattoo - you need another one, then that gets old and you are planning for a third? Well the unit guys are getting rich on your obsession. What you "forget about" there goes to auction - there's even a TV show about this. Are we as humans a pack of deranged squirrels hiding our loot? I'm reformed - healed this mini hording illness on my own and now choose to live with less. I'll be glad to help anyone with this "disorder" since I'm a survivor!  See you next time guys.   
                                                 Mountain Mama Japan

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Part Time Pregnant

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Part Time Pregnant: Hey guys! Yeah it's been a while and my excuse is - are you ready for this? Okay - I couldn't think of anything to write! Love my own excuse...

Part Time Pregnant

Hey guys! Yeah it's been a while and my excuse is - are you ready for this? Okay - I couldn't think of anything to write! Love my own excuse....   Well I do have some soulful insights that I'm sure  you can't wait to hear about:  Now let's see - Oh, here they are:  The trick in life is to find a place, a job, a role, a marriage or partnership and family as well as a position in society that allows you to be who you really are and remain authentic to yourself.  Now I'm getting warmed-up!  So the next one is about "luck"  It's when opportunity meets preparation ( Don't agree? Well mother told you NOT to throw those chips around the gambling table!)   On aging - Some people are old at 30 - oldness happens when you don't have or lose sight of your dreams. Our lives are as much shaped by decisions as anything else. I believe that at every moment you are making at least three decisions - what you are going to focus on, what does it mean and what you're going to do about it. The difference between people is HOW they make those decisions as well. Okay, I've had enough of this spiritual crapola. Got a real serious dilemma about something that's come up during the political race in the U.S.  One candidate stated he is pro-life always! - however FOR abortion in cases of rape etc., Now, what my problem with this is: then he's FOR abortion - like being pro-choice because you are either for or against it no matter what the reasons are. It's like being half pregnant - how does that work?  I'm outta here pondering the meaning of life (again)....  See 'ya when I see 'ya.
                                                  Mountain Mama Japan  

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Selfish Stem Cells

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Selfish Stem Cells: Hey folks! It's been a while but here I am. Starting off with some serious stuff that Mountain Mama can't let go of. Look, everyone is entit...

Selfish Stem Cells

Hey folks! It's been a while but here I am. Starting off with some serious stuff that Mountain Mama can't let go of. Look, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs - and so am I. There has been lots of information out there in the last few years about the pros and cons/do's and dont's of stem cell research. But what it boils down on why it's not widely used now seems to be religion and funding. The technology is falling into place as I write this, but certain  do-gooders in society fail to see how much this advanced research can help millions of people now and future generations with spinal injuries and diseases we never even heard of. It's like a miracle! Yes, I said HELP people - that's what I thought religion was all about. It is a very complex issue, but in my pea brain it sounds  SELFISH  to me. Maybe I'm more spiritual than religious but I would fight for ANY technology that I thought would help the masses. Already much time has been wasted by our elected officials (as screwed-up as you can get) with all of their posturing and bluffing. Who do they think they are - God? How dare they play around with potential cures for severe dieases in the name of religion. How about the hapless taxpayers who are funding endless wars in places that will never, ever have peace ( just check the history books on this), and  will never see the results of them helping people like they would want to. What the hell is going on? Where did common sense and good morals go to?
Now with this said, I can't think of anything cute or funny to say - so I'll end it for now....  but I'm here for you  -  drop in anytime 'ya all.  Bye
                                                Mountain  Mama  Japan

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Mt. Fuji Wannabe

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Mt. Fuji Wannabe: Hi there everyone in this intense rainy season!  Got a little gripe with all the news coverage about the new tallest in the world antenna (a...

Mt. Fuji Wannabe

Hi there everyone in this intense rainy season!  Got a little gripe with all the news coverage about the new tallest in the world antenna (and may I say the ugliest in the world) Tokyo latest attraction. To little 'ol humble me, it looks like a man's private parts. Gimme a break guys. I can't stand all the trumpet blowing about this thing. What the hell was wrong with the late, great Tokyo Tower? It just had a few miles on it - like yours truly! Ha! The final straw was how the "Sky Tree" - the name also kills me - is being compared to Mt. Fuji!  Good God folks, please don't do that as "my" mountain is a real spirtual treasure - some say she's angry and ready to blow her top - like in volcano and lava - hope not in my time though!   Well, all in all,  wonder if Sky Tree will be swaying to and fro during an earthquake ending up like a Japanese version of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.  So what else is happening? Nada....    How about some more tee shirt goodies?  REAL Wealth is Judged by Freedom.   We Are Now What We Did Then.   Unemployed - Un- Everything and Loving It!  One last one to keep you nice and bored:  NO GREEN, NO LIFE, NOTHING MOVES BUT THOUGHTS IN YOUR HEAD.        Bye Bye as you try to figure what that means....                       Mountain Mama Japan
                                                              

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Pleasure Forever Diet

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Pleasure Forever Diet: Hey - What's up folks?  Did anyone of you hear about the "Pleasure Forever Diet"? No?  Okay, it's about self-regulation rather than self-con...

Pleasure Forever Diet

Hey - What's up folks?  Did anyone of you hear about the "Pleasure Forever Diet"? No?  Okay, it's about self-regulation rather than self-control. Are you still with me here? Good, then I can continue with my brilliant theory: It is also not about willpower but it is about tackling your emotional issues first. Once you've done this, maybe with some self-help books or professional guidance, you are on your way to looking HOT! and healthy!  WOW stuff is happening!  Well rooty-toot-toot for you pal - you got it! What was the word again? Yep - SELF-REGULATION.  Now about the diet itself:  No, once again, it's not any fad diet to get to your fighting weight, but a maintance food plan to do for the rest of your life. It's like basically, three meals a day and two or three small snacks spaced in between so you don't flip out and eat your shirt or something. Haven't I said this kind of thing before on previous blogs? Well, you decide exactly what you should shovel into your mouth by studying about carbs, fats, proteins in a healthy balance( what's the problem? - it's not that hard) then you can put together a loose, a little flexible diet that's right for yourself. This way you may include small amounts of chocolate, pizza, hey! even junk food!  But I did say "tiny" didn't I? You're safe now - now that you have a way to go forever. With this diet, you'll be alive and kicking for the next one hundred years - hanging out with me, side by side in our matching rocking chairs!    Next topic - if you can call it that - is about kids today and how they are not children but (very) mature people in little bodies probably due to being introduced to all that hi-tech stuff too soon .  The age of being a true kid is over with parents living in in a make-believe wonderland while rearing them. They are either too strict, like self-described "monster parents" at school, or act so marshmallow-y that they don't guide, just react after the kid's bad actions by whinning, or yelling some empty threats - totally ineffective. Both extremes suck - really suck. Good luck if you can find some happy balance in all of this.  See you next time - I hope not in jail.
                                          Mountain Mama Japan

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Vulgar Mama

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Vulgar Mama: Hey there - Yo!  What's going on? Have you guys been keeping up with your walking all this time? No-o- I haven't checked lately. Look. it's ...

Vulgar Mama

Hey there - Yo!  What's going on? Have you guys been keeping up with your walking all this time? No-o- I haven't checked lately. Look. it's only a little walking - not asking you to lift a thousand pounds or something. What do you need a push from a Jewish mama? Okay.... I;m pushing - so do it already. Ten thousand steps a day gets you a skinny tushie like me (sort of).  Good - now about my next favorite subject - Vulgarity.  Ha! Well, for your information it's a hell of alot more exciting than supposed "good taste", which is nothing more than a standardized way of looking at things. I smell mass bordom in the making.   There is a new language quiz/exercise book out on the market especially designed for teachers who talk too much and or want to save their voices to scream at their spouses at home. The lessons are geared to shut up the instructors and let the students take the floor for a change.  It must be a best seller especially in Japan.   Another new book out is a 1-2-3 dirt cheap/easy cookbook for slobs. The recipes creatively throw together anything you can find in the 50% off bin at the supermarket. I warn you - it ain't fancy but even if you've never boiled water, you can handle these "stew" looking recipes like a pro.   Can we please move on to the next topic? Yeah? no problem - were ya still thinking what the 1-2-3- means?  Slam bam thank you ma'am comes to mind - but that's my vulgar mind in action.  So, you kept with it, you managed to read up till here - I'm so proud of you!  Does that mean you are out there w-a-l-k-i-ng today?  No? I'm being naggy?  Okay - you.... this is punishment! ten push-ups and lifting two 1 quart bottles filled of water high above your head. Don't knock over your halo while you're up there.    Love you too,
                                                 Mountain  Mama  Japan

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Love Hotel Stock Options

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Love Hotel Stock Options: Hey! Back again for some more unrelated tidbits of info: The government of Japan are trying to find ways to get people to have more children...

Love Hotel Stock Options

Hey! Back again for some more unrelated tidbits of info: The government of Japan are trying to find ways to get people to have more children as the birth rate is going down.  Better housing and more child care options were suggested however, with these old boy, government official farts at the helm of this dilemma, nothing was done. They just didn't get it with their farm mentality on procreativity. Next subject is about hotels/motels that cater to hourly rentals. You guys must know what I'm talking about - right? Well in the Orient they're called "love hotels", very original name in my opinion! It has more of an atmosphere of rauncy elegance, designed with an admirable single-minded of purpose.... even a first timer wouldn't be left wondering what supposed to happen next.  At one point of my life I was thinking of buying some stock in one of those big hotel companies that was listed as an "up and coming" business venture. With my luck I'd end up cleaning toilets instead of enjoying the profits. I think the deciding factor was that I would feel nauseous spinning around on the circular water bed under a mirrored ceiling. At least everything was pink and black - my favorite color combination, you know the poodle thing.  I must tell you about my historical Meiji era bad woman (my hero!) called  Takahashi Oden. She managed to wack more men than you can count. A real black widow spider. If she didn't like you - you're done. Was strung up high for her crimes. Sorry to see her go .   Wasn't that enough?  Yeah?  Okay, bye.
                                         Mountain Mama Japan

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Skinny Bitching

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Skinny Bitching: Hi guy! What's up with you?  A-okay over here.  Well, I do have a real serious subject to share with you:  FOOD and EATING ....and  EATING a...

Skinny Bitching

Hi guys! What's up with you?  A-okay over here.  Well, I do have a real serious subject to share with you:  FOOD and EATING ....and  EATING and FOOD. Just think, like use your imagination - like ALOT! What if humans didn't ever have the need to eat again? You know what that means, in terms of thinking about it,(obsessing) about it daily, worring about tainted, unsafe additives, crowded supers, preparing meals, and never dealing with FOOD ISSUES? Restaurants wouldn't exist and kitchens could be used for extra living room space. No one but no one would get fat again. No more counting calories or the other heavy stuff connected with it would happen, nor would many of the chronic health problems from poor eating habits. No more stress about food, food, food!! Just think of all the extra time you would have in the day to do the activities that you want to. Another important point is how much money you could save - no more food bills or  splurging on expensive meals. There is understandably a huge market in the food industry. This will cease to exist and new industries will emerge. New grass roots! Just how much pleasure do you get from a chocolate bar, piece of fried chicken, hamburger with a side of fries, or cheese cake?  Tons - yeah?  Well folks - hate to disappoint you but if there isn't any of THIS kind of pleasure, you will have to find NEW ways of having your "pleasure buttons" pressed!  A few suggestions from the in-house expert - yours truly is:  Hanging out more with people you want to be with, doing more stuff outdoors in natural settings, spending quality time on work and family (remember no more weighing the prospects of what or what not to eat). The last idea is far the best!  Sex!  That could push a few pleasure buttons out there!  The moral of this story is to transfer the feelings - like the rush you get from the act of putting things into your mouth -  yum yum words are no more - to other activities. This takes extensive training but worth it 'cause you'll become a skinny bitch in no time!  Okay! The science fiction lesson is over for today. See you next time....
                                                  Mountain Mama Japan  

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Geek Capitol of the World

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Geek Capitol of the World: Hi folks! Ready for an important announcement of "Geek of the Week" award?  Yep, your truly won hands down! Quite an honor for a former moto...

Geek Capitol of the World

Hi folks! Ready for an important announcement of "Geek of the Week" award?  Yep, your truly won hands down! Quite an honor for a former motorcycle gang type fashion/tattoo look to a conservative, mono colored appearance kind of gal. Why the huge change?  I don't know - maybe I love boring myself to death or something. Look, geeks/nerds EXIST plain as that.  I don't know much about what they do but they are brainy. In high school while I was doing my cool stuff like baton twirling, they were burning the midnight oil studing how living things moved - too high tech even to pronounce the words. At this point of my life I have become immersed in technology - like how to use one of those new-fangled phones. Just press the "call" button when wanting to make a call. God was that hard or what? With all of the great advances in Japan (tagged as the geek capitol of the world especially because of the anime boom I imagine),  these guys are running amuck all over the place. So what happened to all the dopier ones? The party animals are dead. Can't chill anymore - and that why I migrated into this group. No more telling my joke about the factory that makes novelities such as whoopee cushions and plastic dog doo. That's what I'll miss the most I think.  My new friends force me to use my noggin and that could be risky. It  opened up a can of worms as they say. Now my smarty- pants friends have led me to become vocal in political issues here. I'm anti everything.  Ban the nukes!!           See you again,  Mountain Mama Japan

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Fear Factor

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Fear Factor: Hey You Guys! Whatz-up? Wanna hear something on everyone being afraid today? Yeah.... fear of bombs, wars, disasters, dieases, getting fat, ...

Fear Factor

Hey You Guys! Whatz-up? Wanna hear something on everyone being afraid today? Yeah.... fear of bombs, wars, disasters, dieases, getting fat, not getting rich and successful, and last but not least, the fear of looking dumb. Like there must be millions of other fears people have - too many to list here. Since I have listed my "favorite" fear of not looking dumb - I guess I can continue on to gripe about lost articles. Would you believe missing a sock or a glove? Cause everything gotta be in a pair with me. My OCD personality is kicking in when I don't see two things that are supose to be a pair, together. God it's annoying. A single sport shoe kills me too. Well the good part is you only need ONE hat at a time cause you should have only ONE head - and that's a relief. See folks - I'm not that dumb!   * Talking about success stories is when you're on your way to a lifetime goal - the worst thing that can happen is summed up in one word:  DISTRACTION. Lots of self-help books talk about this very thing.  So stay focused already!  Listen to me! I'm the authority around here! ( Didn't I write in a past blog; AUTHORITY SUCKS!)?  Whoops.   See Ya all again....  
                                                      Mountain Mama Japan 

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Anti - Drama Queens

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Anti - Drama Queens: Hi again.... and again!   Got some thoughts about the differences of a New Yorker and a Tokyo persons' psyche. In New York you must constant...

Anti - Drama Queens

Hi again.... and again!   Got some thoughts about the differences of a New Yorker and a Tokyo persons' psyche. In New York you must constantly assert yourself - if you don't, you won't get anywhere. You have to say everything, It's always necessary to verbalize every thought, every feeling.  Sure it's an exciting city, with all the entertainment and culture available but pl-e-a-s-e!  give me a break with all the drama!  Tokyites are learning fast but are still a different breed. Everything is so orderly. People act in a certain way because of their ranking in this vertical society. * Now anyone up for some more grammatical howlers seen on jackets and tee shirts? 
 #1 EVERYTHING!   Ugh....  Sooner or Later We Begin to Resemble (act like) Our Worst Enemies.   (gotta think more about this one)  and another one that will wake you guys up:   XXXRated - Girls Girls Girls Nude, Lewd, and Crude   ( just thinking about the equal rights stuff) and a last one that brings me to wonder how anyone could actually design something like this:    TOKYO SUCKS!   ( I never said New York sucks - at least give me some credit here!)       Bye for now    Mountain Mama Japan

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Trailer Park Mama

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Trailer Park Mama: Hey you guys! Still around - like alive? Good.... That means you'll want to read this. Just a little word about taxi drivers in Tokyo - ...

Trailer Park Mama

Hey you guys! Still around - like alive? Good....  That means you'll want to read this.    Just a little word about taxi drivers in Tokyo - They often get lost, granted there are no individual street addresses, but a tangled, incomprehensible mix of unrelated numbers residing side by side. Okay! the cabbies are forgiven for this. I do have another beef with these formally dressed and well groomed gentlemen - it must be thrilling to them to ignore potential customers on a cold, wet night. Unless you hold up two or three fingers which means you're desperate enought to pay double or triple the fare, No stop-y. Look, they don't make any tips (not a custom in this country) so there's no incentive to be nice like we are!   * One more thing about beautiful Japan:  They love nature!  As long as it doesn't take up too much space - and can be sold for an enormous profit.  Like bonsai - tiny trees that take up so much time to care for it leave no time for work or family. Never heard of a "bonsai widow" or "bonsai divorce" but you never know. *  Wanna hear some more tee-shirt slogans? No? Well you're gonna hear it anyway "cause it's killing me to remember all this stuff.    HEY LIVER LIPS!   Not so funny? Okay, I'll try another one or two: " Anything closer to FREE rhymes with me!"  No again? Gee, I don't want to screw up anymore - got some pride!  Alright, here goes:  How to look cool:  dangling pair of dice over your dashboard, pink flamigos on your weedy, postage stamp sized lawn and last but not least - drum roll please....  a wobbly hula dancer figurine also gracing your crowded car dashboard.  What an intense statement!  I was just describing my current situation (and I don't think that I'm trailer park trash - not yet but might be headed that way!)  Bye everybody - I'm afraid to write more about this except for the new 'tat I need - like a hole in the head.                     Mountain Mama Japan

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Toxic Bod Issues

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Toxic Bod Issues: Hello, hello.... How are we today? Yeah? That bad is it? Well, fuhgeddaboutit and listen to this: The best company manager/leader isn't abo...

Toxic Bod Issues

Hello, hello.... How are we today? Yeah? That bad is it? Well, fuhgeddaboutit and listen to this:  The best company manager/leader isn't about any particular individual but it is the meeting of customer needs, achieving long-term growth and success for shareholders and employees, as well as being passionate about the company's products and services. Gee, it sounds like the dream team or something! On the other hand, someone who doesn't have the ability or belief makes him/her toxic. A lack of understanding what it takes to grow, scale down or adapt will outdate his future worth to the organization. Know anyone here? I do! And it ain't me. *Now a great thought about personal perfection. "Why do you need to be so perfect on earth? Is there a report card waiting for you in heaven? " Never heard this from the guy upstairs. * Haven't been giving any new ideas on dieting, or lack of lately. Well, guys don't think that I forgot about the bod issue, I've been busy that's all. Now is the time to start thinking about what goes down this summer. Yo! the beach thing is looming. All you have to do is walk - I've been after you before about this. Do it every day! Hey - book you too! Don't get high falutin with me pal - just get out there. And NO Starbucks/ Mac/ pizza house on the way back honey. In a few months you will be toned up - and HOT.  Good luck - love ya too.  I admit that I change my tune when I talk turkey. It's very emotional. Look, I like you readers to feel and look your best - like gorgeous forever!  Enough said - so it's rendezvous time!  One-two, one-two.  Swing those bat wings while you jiggle down the street to the beat of your own drummer.  See you! 
                                                         Mountain Mama Japan

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Anti Mousey

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Anti Mousey: Hey! What's up? Still hanging in there? Great, I'm happy that you're here too. Now, to get down to business.... What is with this Micky cr...

Anti Mousey

Hey! What's up? Still hanging in there? Great, I'm happy that you're still here.   Now, to get down to business....  What is with this Micky craperoo? anybody else sick and tired of the mouse stuff? Can I mention the "D" word? No, not divorce but Disneyland. Sure the kids love it and bully for them. But give me a break guys - Disney has spread itself thin over the millions of years since Walt has come up with the idea. Now the logo is on EVERYTHING like stuff that adults use and get this - toilet seats. I refuse to sit down and squash a "mouse". How about you?  People in Japan are getting hitched by the droves at the Disney hotels. Included in this crazyness are life sized characters that dance around the newly wedded kiddies.   Give me a Goofy any day! Got some upbeat stuff to relate -  "When you're truly happy - you don't care about being judged by others"  Ain't that true?  Next tidbit is about the Extreme Rush Junkie. It's someone  who actually enjoys doing risky activities like to name a few: Jumping off of cliffs into God knows where, tightroping between two buildings without a net and more. Do you know anyone like this?  Or should I say, Do you know anyone who "expired" like this?  I knew a few of these morans, never was impressed with the action, just thought that they were demented. Now how about some mellow words seen on tee shirts? "Over here Sweetie"  and  "Memory Motel * Hey - it happened way back - OK?"
             Bye-bye to all the Mickeys of the world,  Mountain Mama Japan

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Bargains for Tightwads

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Bargains for Tightwads: Hi to everyone brave enough to read this! You know with the screwed-up economy these days, just to hear the word "bargain" is like music to...

Bargains for Tightwads

Hi  everyone brave enough to read this!  You know with the screwed-up economy these days, just to hear the word "bargain" is like music to our ears. Well, what about the meaning of a "true bargain, special price, discount", or another million ways to say: Come 'n get it folks it's CHEAP! I'm just saying what it means to you alone. So how does the process start? Mental stuff that you can't shake when you wake up in the morning. Like the feeling that nothing is going your way at home or at work. You hit the stores right! Nothing better than a little instant "treat" - better than patting yourself on your back (easier said than done according to me, did some serious damage with my arm socket). Anyway, that's one kind of person with the stress issues. Another kind of person is Mr./Ms.Perfect  who checks the internet or other sources for info about the product first. I prefer to go by word of mouth - remembering the time before machines and phones were invented. Hey! I'm starting to lose it even when any word that sounds like a SALE is uttered. Help I'm drooling! All I need are the bright lights, the action and the sound - the roar of the crowds and I'm right there in the middle of everything. So, from now, the only thing I can say as a former, reformed shop-aholic with boarding OCD hoarder tendencies, and self-appointed counselor to the masses, the truth is simple: buy only something you LOVE, never, never settle for: "Eh! it's okay, oh well".  It might or might not be the least expensive or God forbid! NOT a sale item,but you will enjoy looking at it and use it until it wears out. And this is the moral of what a true bargain is! So do I have to "sell" you on my own qualifications for this brilliant assessment? All right - I am an authority on this 'cause I can be a total cheapskate when I want to be. Hands down, I'm cheaper than you'll ever be, even if you''re from New York (no offense intended). That's why I know my stuff.  Are we finished here? I hope so. I'm getting so stressed  and twitchy. Gotta hit the mall. Don't fight me on this.
                                                     Bye,  Mountain Mama Japan over and out

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Doggy Tattoos Rule!

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Doggy Tattoos Rule: Hi! I just have one burning question: Do I have to play the count down game when the snow, cold (may I squeeze in MISERY) is over and done w...

Doggy Tattoos Rule!

Hi! I just have one burning question: Do I have to play the count down game when the snow, cold (may I squeeze in MISERY) is over and done with? Is there anyone else with me? Sheesh! how can you love it? Especially if you're a thousand years old like I am. I'm done with the "fun" sporty snow stuff that kids love to do out there. So here I am stuck with the adult leftovers of shoveling, cursing busted water pipes, and hauling kerosene to fill up the "high tech" yeah right....  heaters. Never once have I gotten the entire thing in without spilling it - kinda my trademark. So, what's new with you? Oh, nothing? I thought so. Does that mean that I have to carry the whole burden of entertaining you?  Oi vay ( for you New Yorkers).  Hello! is there anyone home? Just a little bit more - force yourself to stay here! Okay.... another HOT subject of crucial interest:  PET TATTOOS.  Actually it's done with wipe-off ink so that these newbie tat artist/owners think that it's the cat's meow ( or if you want to go further back in history: the bee's knees) of doggy/kitty coolness. God, what about the animals whose hair is dyed to match "mommy's"? I've seen, more than once in beautiful downtown Tokyo, couples strutting around with some yappy dogs in a baby carriage, sporting little outfits that cost a mint. How _ ussy whipped are these guys anyway?  Now for the highlights of the day!  Ready and waiting with your tongues hanging out? Yeah? Okay, here goes: As seen on a tee shirt: DRUNK DUDES LOVE ME  and on another one:  DRUNK CHICKS LOVE ME  I could never figure out which gender should wear which. That's your job to do. Oh, a last tiny one I saw:  Leave That Loser  N-O-W.  Sounds good....    Bye
                                                          Mountain Mama Japan

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Internet Date Site Freaks

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Internet Date Site Freaks: Hi everyone on the coldest day of 2012. Welcome to the land of hypochondriacs. They really have something to worry about when graphic pictur...

Internet Date Site Freaks

Hi everyone on the coldest day of 2012. Welcome to the land of hypochondriacs. They really have something to worry about when graphic pictures of athlete's foot sufferers greet you at the door of every drug store in Japan. C'mon, it's gross.  Another "tip" from you know who - this time on the internet dating site photos. Look, I'll be up front and honest with you guys, NO ONE, but NO ONE cares what great activities you do, how smart you are (save that kudo for mommy) or that you're built, equipped (figure that one out doo-doo head) if you look like a freak in your profile pic. Take a second to have the honey bees buzzing around  - put on a clean shirt, fix your do, avoid ducktails and mallot cuts please. Retro/spiky is okay (according to me). Even if you think that you're u-gu-ly (can't say ugly) flash a nice friendly smile, always a winner! and wait for the ladies to line up 'cause YOU HOT BRAH.  You know today I can't talk about Plain Jane because the next chapter about is too painful but in time I can tell it all to you - just wait. Okay just a tad more about it....If I start acting weird or creepy I'll stop. Jane knew that she would be creating a new set of rules for herself by looking at another society from the outside in. Scary. The part that I don't like was (if I may jump ahead a few weeks with this) is how she came to be a Ginza hostess. Stupid and grueling work - well, yeah.... it's tough sitting and entertaining some rich smucks ( one more reason to hate the  rich!).Some having serious personal hygiene issues( Maybe THAT 'S what was bothering me I don't know).  More about Jane's adventures next time if you can stand the suspense.  How about a cute closing thing before I have a breakdown? Yeah - here it goes: You can never escape your class - so quit trying already. And last: Screw the planet - save yourself....     Bye, I'm tuckered out....
Mountain Mama Japan

Big Nose Diet

Hey guys!  Here we are again for some more things you need to know. How about some more nagging about the beauty of dieting? Ok? great. A few tips to remind you about your mental state which keeps you focused FOREVER!  Put a "before" photo of yours truly smack where your will eyeball it as you slide open the refrigerator/shelves/cubbyholes or other hiding places. This is visual inspiration to the max which helps with the staying power thing. You folks over that certain age - don't mean to be rude, or come on too strongly - you know, the bifocals set -don't forget to plaster them across your face, no excuses that you couldn't hone in on it. Next is looking at your OVERALL progress - rather than those daily torturing weigh-ins. I think that it's more stressful than trying to squeeze into something and hearing it go r-i-p in a dressing room of a high-end shop with bitchy (and skinny) sales help.  Another thought is to stay clear of your friendly sabotagers. Misery loves company as the saying goes - yep, avoid them like the plague.  One good one is keeping your sneakers, dumb bells (why the hell are they called that?) treadmills (Oh God, love to trip over these things on a toilet run in the middle of the night) and workout clothes - stinky as they are - all out in plain sight. You people with an OCD condition of hoarding with enjoy this sight every morning when you wake up!  Last on Mountain Mama's short list is to read others' success stories a great motivator unless the ending isn't so happy - you know where I'm going with this - Hee Hee! they managed to gain it all back and then some more.  Good luck to you! And if you want to stay on my good side, DON'T screw this up.   And now my pet peeve of the day is all about the narrow wine/drinking glasses offered here in Japan in some fancy-smancy watering hole - err... restaurant. Look, let's be honest, with a honker like mine there is NO way in hell that I can squeeze it into such a narrow hole, sip the contents like a lady and withdraw it with the liquid still in my mouth, without the entire population of the restaurant sucking in their breaths simultaneously at the foreigners great feat. Now I know that's why the waiters brings over wide mouth glasses when they see me coming. Must even have a nose measuring stick stuck in a drawer some place for this purpose. Write in if you ever heard of such a thing. So, I unburdened my soul! That's what this blog is all about! Glad it hit home. Don't ask me what you can look foward to in the next one, I don't know....       Whew! is it over? Sort of. I guess so.  Goodbye and - oh, stop rattling me, I'm trying to end this thing. Ok, this is final....final  bye-bye.   bye.                                          Mountain Mama Japan

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Recipe From Hell

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Recipe From Hell: Yep, it's one of these days again - not the weather or feeling "under the weather" but a real blah day. Absolutely nothing but nothing happe...

Recipe From Hell

Yep, it's one of these days again - not the weather or feeling "under the weather" but a real blah day. Absolutely nothing but nothing happening. I'm here to change things - right? So lemme at 'em! O-ka-a-y, here we go.... Some  tips for your daily existence: Never take a tranquilizer  (or any pill for that matter) without water. Ugh,  tweeze your eyebrows without a mirror (what eyebrows?),  ride a roller coaster after auntie's famous double cheese fried steak dish - trust me on this one, been there, done that. Run through the door first and have it slam on your date's face - Only done in one country in the world - Japan! Yes, land of gentlemen and flatened gentlewomen.  Ready for another one? Yeah? Never thought you'd ask:   Like tattoo's? Meeting a guy with some could be a real great conversation starter: "Hey love the tat's! Like what were you in for? Oh, an axe murderer? How charming. Can't wait to be alone with you dear."   Now, for the serious stuff:  How about a recipe for a change? It's called:  Mountain Mama's Winter Pudding. Aren't you all excited? It takes 2 eggs - don't get smart - how would I know if it's free range or not? Next is 2 cups of bread pieces, yeah, stale or rock hard OK, just cut off the green/black part. 3 cups (hot) milk - again don't bother me  you-skinny-as-a-rail- folks, about skim, low fat or God forbid regular. Any kind will do.  Sugar is 1/2 cup - aha! I will not go there about the million reasons that you shouldn't, can't, don't with the sugar issue. Leave me alone OK? Just do what you gotta do and get some in there. Whew! I'm exausted and I haven't even finished listing the few cheap ( you know cheapskates love me!) ingredients into the freaken bowl. Now, there is also 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla (real or chemical- ladden fake) Stop it! and last, raisins/dried fruit (NOT rotten, hard stuff but sold by the pack as dried.)  Let's start already before I need those tranks without water: Beat the eggs, add the bread, hot milk, 1 tablespoon butter  OH NO! I forgot about the butter - sorry, but I get hysterical when I hear anything FAT, 'cause it's FAT that's why. Here's the thing, I also forgot (on purpose) the pinch of salt. Any of you guys with high BP sorry but it won't have any taste without some - just bear with it and up your meds for a day. So, where was I? Oh yeah,  Mix it up and dump it in a greased (grease is another dirty word in my skinny world) pan.You're on your own with this one. Bake for 40 minutes at 350c. How did it come out? Soupy? Crunchy? Did you turn on the oven? What were you doing for forty minutes? Oh I'm not allowed to ask? Alright, be a weasel. I'm leaving. Hope that you enjoyed your feast. Lick the spoon for me.  See you next,                        Mountain Mama Japan

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Fuzzy Logic 2012

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Fuzzy Logic 2012: Hey! So I heard that you want to enter a brand new, exciting phase in your life. Yeah, you do huh? Don't let me stop you - go for it! You kn...

Fuzzy Logic 2012

Hey! So I heard that you want to enter a brand new, exciting phase in your life. Yeah, you do huh? Don't let me stop you - go for it! You know that I'll start nagging you about the results of all those holiday parties. Don't get coy, you know what I'm after. Did you take some of my tips seriously? Like the listing of everything that passes your lips for at least three days? It's the easiest 'cause you educate yourself on what you need to do personally.
So what's going on with Jane and her secret diary? Well, she was thinking that she would be starting a new phase too. Her ultimate mission looked like school, but it ranked a close second to the real  thing which was excitement - money and men!  Now, what could a real plain girl get what she wanted? Physical appearance comes first because that's what people see (and might form some unfair opinions about, but that's humans for you.) Next is the mental stuff - I don't mean to get mushy or soft here, but unless they know something about you before hand, or if you tell an impressive short and sweet BS story, people you first meet  will lose interest and move on to the next victim.  It sounds tough that only your mother cares about what a good heart you have, but it's a tough world out there. I learned to be kind to others (yeah, I do have a kind heart - oh, can I throw in  that I'm honest and generous (sort of) too? I do this for myself, it makes ME feel good to be nice to others. I told you that I'm a me-me-me kind of girl didn't I?  Anyway, the object of the story is that trust and honesty must be earned. The valuable stuff takes time. So folks, as your working your tuchie off at the gym and killing yourself from keeping your wrinkles lining up on the road map of your face,  think about  who you want to be for you. It's your soul. I hope that this makes sense for you, I can't even remember what I wrote already - I want to move on to the fluffier stuff:  How about a little slogan or two?  OK! got it. "My parents never wanted anything for me except that me to become them."  On a tee-shirt: In a big wide space you can feel free (and nervous), Drug of choice: (sex or food) - affair or eclair? " Use it or lose it!" ahem.... you know what I mean gentleman. Wow, I've had enough - haven't you?  
                                                   Bye bye    Mountain Mama Japan

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Core Values Suck

Mountain Mama JAPAN: Core Values Suck: Hey! So I did say that I'll be seeing you after the holidays are over - but I couldn't wait 'cause I missed you guys. Got some more stuff o...

Core Values Suck

Hey! So I did say that I'll be seeing you after the holidays are over - but I couldn't wait 'cause I missed you guys!  Got some more stuff on relationships:  The only way to experience a relationship is to open up and be real. You can't romantize people, making them like characters in a book you love, getting caught up in the IDEA of someone rather who they really ARE. You must learn to see the person clearly along with their issues, challenges and all their great qualities which attracted you to them in the first place. Instead of holding back emotionally and showing a prettied-up version of yourself, it's okay to show vulnerabilities - the feeling is liberating and awesome at the same time. Sometime a so-called good relationship will end abruptly when the "honeymoon" phase is over. It only might have been bad timing or a sticky, unadvoidable life circumstance. Mourn a reasonable amount of time by feeling safe and protected, until getting back in the rat race. Healthy and positive!  What can I say? Stuff like this happens all the time, you're ahead of the game only if you're a Superman with coping skills. Now as it is I'm pondering the meaning of life - yes sirree folks, this may be the deepest thought that Mountain Mama has ever had! It's what life really is about:  #1 Making one decision after another, big or small daily, and the other,  #2 Solving problems big or small, also constantly, on a daily basis. Yep that's it! All about Life 101....
I wonder if I can charm you in another way now - like some snappy slogans: Road kill - is it dead or is it dinner? School is cool but playing hooky is hot! And finally last - lucky you:  A hooker's heart doesn't have the proverbial  heart of gold, but pocesses a calculating heart WITH gold. Ain't that true?
                          Catch 'ya later alligator....  Mountain Mama Japan